god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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