I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
