Someone shit on the floor
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize