woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
not ubering you a puppy
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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