Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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