weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
