she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
organizing the empties. That sober.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
