You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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