finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
