This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
wow bdsm is so cute
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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