I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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