Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i will never coherently bang her
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
