white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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