That's when you crack a 10am beer
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize