whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
