i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
