can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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