So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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