when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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