And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Your cock deserves a montage
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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