so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
