Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
