After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
