he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
