Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
