im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
