You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
