Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
