No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
