Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
