you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
now i know why i became what i already was.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
