He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
