I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
