It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
