i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
i think i just lost a toe
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
