I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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