Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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