the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
