I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
