Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
