if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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