You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
