He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Randomize
