she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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