She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
