yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
