Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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