You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
