in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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