i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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