I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
