Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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