i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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