i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
