? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
