How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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