i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Randomize
