I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
