Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
