You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
third nipple confirmed
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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