Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
then he tried to convert me to islam
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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