Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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