hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
