another moral hangover. fuck.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
