The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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