I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
