P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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