drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
