just come out here and I will go home with you...
accomplished twins. life is a go
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
