Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
