she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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