people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Randomize
